Stop Dating While You're Healing!

After a relationship ends, you're entering a new beginning. In this new beginning, it's all about you! Take this time to heal, connect with yourself, and enjoy growing into the Queen you are meant to be!

"A relationship that doesn't work, allows space for the right one to come along. An end is not really the end... it's the beginning." — Jennifer Sumter

In my opinion, it's dangerous to date directly after a breakup. I say that because there was no time taken to get yourself back together. There was no time to reflect, be to yourself to recuperate, or time to figure out what could be done to make the next relationship work for the better. If you are hurting, you should be healing not dating!

I like to use the quote, "When one door closes, another one opens." You don't have to feel upset, mad, or sad about the relationship ending because it's leaving the door vacant to allow someone else and someone better to come along. When the time is right, that door will get a knock on it and it'll open right up when you turn the knob to answer the door.

While you're healing, you will have so much time to grow as a person and take what you've learned from the failed relationship so that you could have a more successful relationship the next time around. If you don't take time to heal, you run the risk of pretending you don't feel any hurt or pain, you act out in a negative way, you try too hard to move on which could cause frustration, and the only outcome of all of this is that everyone involved would get hurt more. If you enter a relationship without healing, once things start getting bad, you'll find yourself staying in a relationship in which you become unhappy, crumbled in misery, guilt and self-loathing. One of the biggest reasons people jump into a relationship right away after a breakup would be to fill the void of being alone because you're not used to being by yourself, something was missing from your previous relationship and so you jumped into another one hoping to find what you are looking for, you want to have someone to call your own, you want to have someone just to say you have them and you're in a relationship etc. It's many reasons why some may jump back in, but truth be told, it's not worth it.

How visualization can help you find what you're looking for

How often are you specific about what you seek rather than wandering aimlessly hoping to chance upon it? Visualization is a key component to attracting what you want into your life on purpose.

1. Ask what — What do you want?

• What do you actually want from a life partner/soul mate?

• What experiences have you had in prior relationships do you want to keep and what do you want to avoid again?

2. Visualize what that looks like and how you will feel when you get it.

• It will feel so amazing to be with the partner of my dreams!

• It is empowering to be with someone who helps me hold the vision of my highest self!

3. Make sure what you are asking for is coming from a place of love and fullness.

• No - I want to be with someone who cooks because my partner is lazy and it is frustrating.

• Yes - I want to be with someone who cooks because it is fun to work as a team and I love that someone values my time.

4. Trust that it will happen.

Go inward and get into that happy place of knowingness before you act. Come into a relationship as two whole happy individuals co-creating a loving life in harmony rather than trying to fix something or giving someone else responsibility for your happiness. To have that relationship you desire you must dedicate yourself to the magnification of love not just for others but for yourself. You deserve the absolute best! Don't settle for less than the total surrender of their heart and your own. Don't be scared to lose people; if it is meant to be it will not pass you by. Remember that being alone does not mean loneliness and to feel whole, complete and fulfilled within your relationship you must first find it within yourself.